For as long as I can remember, I’ve understood the importance of mental health. Not because I was taught about it in school, per se (because that wasn’t really a thing in the 90s/00s), but because of what was happening around me. By the time I was 15 years old, I had helped prevent a friend from dying by suicide, listened to several of my friends share childhood trauma that led to mental illnesses, and I had battled my own panic attacks and anxiety. By the time I hit my 20s, I had struggled with depression and was regularly seeing a therapist. 

Just as familiar as I was with the importance of mental health for my overall well-being, I was also well acquainted with the stigmas projected on those fighting mental illness. It was seen as something to be feared, unaccepted, and dangerous. Knowing this, I kept my mental health issues private. It felt safer that way, and inevitably, vital in caring for myself. I had to find a balance between what felt like two evils: seek help and risk being unaccepted in society, or do nothing and risk my health. Secrecy was the middle ground. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs shows that belonging is an essential part of our overall development. When that is put at risk, whether through stigmas or other external circumstances, we instinctually want to stop the risk.

So, have we overcome stigmas around mental illness? No, I do not believe we have. To say otherwise would be naive, and frankly, the world is not that black and white. 

There has, however, been a progression in our awareness, as we know mental illness does not discriminate against who it affects. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, “in any given year, 1 in 5 people in Canada will personally experience a mental health problem or illness.” Education and advocacy have also been on the rise, as more and more people share their personal mental health stories, which leads to particular old stigmas slowly being filtered out. 

Then there’s the pandemic, which caused a mental health decline across the board. According to a survey done by the BBC, “in the run-up to the first lockdown, roughly 10% of people showed moderate to severe symptoms, compared with 19% [only a couple months later] in June 2020,” with stress and anxiety driving depressive symptoms. And in the US, there was a 34% increase in prescription medications used for treating anxiety between mid-February to mid-March 2020, according to a report released by Express Scripts. But, in all the research I did for this article, nothing seemed to show we had indeed overcome the stigmas associated with mental health. Rather, website after website and article after article revealed more and more stigmas, but encouraged individuals struggling with their mental health to seek help anyways. Talk about increasing anxiety. The threat to belonging and acceptance is strong when faced with stigmas of being considered “dangerous” or “unaccepted.” It’s understandable that people make excuses before speaking to a doctor or reaching out to a therapist.

Inevitably, stigmas are rampant, stubborn, and are actually dangerous. What seems to be forgotten by those naive to mental illness is the domino effect that can take place when a person’s ill-informed judgements take over. Psychiatry.org shares that some stereotypes of people with mental illnesses is that they are dangerous, incompetent, to blame for their disorder, and unpredictable. Therefore, employers may not hire them, landlords may not rent to them, and the health care system may offer a lower standard of care. This is something I have seen, particularly after living for three years with an occupational therapist who works in a mental health ward. Essentially, the stigmatic thoughts of stereotypes and prejudices, like most things in life, create a discriminatory reaction. People may be more aware of the stigmas around mental health, and even more educated about mental health issues, but not enough to eradicate the stigmas from making a painful and unjust impact.

Out of all these different stigmas listed, there is one that seems to stand the test of time and fall under the radar—it’s birthed over and over again, clinging to society like Velcro and forcefully and diversely embedding itself into people’s lives. 

 This particular stigma is… shame.

According to Brené Brown, a shame and vulnerability researcher, shame is “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” It’s not just someone feeling shame, but also being shamed. And just like mental health does not discriminate, neither does shame. 

In 2020, I shared about my own struggles with anxiety in an article titled Why I returned to Counseling. What I later learned after continuing with therapy was that I was experiencing burnout and recovering from a workplace shame culture, which I later shared here. I shared my story because I didn’t want others to feel alone in their suffering. I had been silent for so long, battling my own demons, that I forgot about the power of connection—the powerful impact of those two words, “Me too.” Not feeling alone in my mental illness was what encouraged me to seek help, and that too was my hope for those who read my articles.

So, how do we break such deeply embedded and culturally accepted stigmas? There are many solutions through education and advocacy and accountability, but if you break them all down, community and connection are vital. I feel like we have forgotten what it’s like to get to know people. To actually take the time to see beyond our own pride and prejudice. We are so quick to judge an individual that we barely see their humanity. I know I’ve done this—failing to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

But consider this: what if you knew that mom you snapped at for ignoring her crying child actually hasn’t slept in days and is struggling with postpartum? What if you knew that barista you reported for being rude was suffering from a chronic pain illness that was causing a deep depression? What if you knew that employee you were going to fire for working too slowly was experiencing suicidal thoughts after dealing with extreme anxiety? Would you approach them differently? Would you have more compassion? More understanding?

What if we took the time to give the benefit of the doubt and saw humanity as beautifully flawed, rather than a means to an end?

The bottom line is we need human connection. Not just social media snippets, but genuine kinship and a sense of belonging. As Maslow’s Hierarchy states, this is essential for our overall health. We need each other and we can only do that if we take the time. If we see beyond our own stigmas, prejudices and stereotypes, and listen. Imagine what we could learn from each other. As Plato said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

Will we ever overcome stigmas around mental illness? I’m not sure, but it’s worth trying.

Written by: Kaila H. Johnson